Dead Stars
by Night Rain Illusion
Summary: Carly attempts, and more or less fails, to adjust. Some Jack/Carly, albeit one-sided.


Yay for Yugioh 5D's oneshot! And Jack/Carly is the first straight shipping I've ever had for the Yugioh fandom, as it has delicious humor and angst. Warnings for spoilers past episode 37.

**Dead Stars**

_I'm dead._

I, Carly Nagisa, am dead.

_I'm dead._

No matter how many times she repeats it both aloud and in her head, she still can't believe it. It was inconceivable. Just mere days ago she was trailing after the infamous Jack Atlas for her next big scoop, the next she's falling out of windows and reviving like a zombie out of a horror movie.

"This is unfair." she says out loud to herself, pulling her knees closer to herself from where she is sitting huddled in the corner. She wraps her arms around herself, thankful for the small window of privacy she has at the moment. Ever since she had killed Divine-something that still sends shivers up her spine at the mere thought that she took someones _life_, despite the fact that he took hers, and she feels disgusted with herself because _it felt right to take that bastard's life_-she hasn't had much time to herself. Misty had refused to let her out of her sight until she was convinced that Carly wasn't going to do something stupid or get herself killed (again, although the thought has certainly crossed her mind before) before allowing Carly to be left alone.

_I'm dead._

"This is unfair."

She's pretty sure she's said this statement before already, but at this point she really doesn't care.

Usually, an automatic response that people tend to give to this statement is "Life's not fair. Get used to it."

But she's not alive, she's _dead_, and no one could possibly get used to that so quickly.

_Why me? I didn't do anything wrong. I was good; never broke any laws or caused harm to others. I never got into trouble like this before._

_...Not until I met him._

Her fingernails dig into her arms painfully and she bites down on her bottom lip to prevent herself from crying (again) as she stares at her knees.

_None of this would of happened if I had just listened to him. If I had never gotten so close to him. I would still be alive and chasing after the next big scoop instead of being dead and working for the bad guys._

"Damnit, Jack..." she whispers, fighting back tears, "Not only did you take my heart...you took my life too!"

It's easier to blame him, she thinks. It's easier to hate him than love him. After all, she's a Dark Signer, _his_ enemy, which means she can't love him; she can only hate him for being a Signer, for becoming _her_ enemy now. She's never felt so angry, felt so sad, that this could be happening to her. Everything is just so wrong and she doesn't know what to do. Not only is the thought of being dead horrible, but the thought that, eventually, she may have to fight against him is incredibly heartbreaking. (But, if there was anyone that she would rather have defeat her (because dream on, there's no way in Hell she could defeat the former King) she would want it to be him and only him.)

_Because if I win, he'll die. If he wins...I'll die. For real next time._

Misty had told her this the night she had brought her to the Dark Signer's base, when Carly had nearly (because Carly had more dignity than that) been kicking and screaming that she would not betray him by joining with the other Dark Signers, and that she would rather die (again) than do so.

But damn it, she didn't want to experience the sensation of death twice, let alone having experienced it once already.

_I'm dead._

"But I'm not supposed to be dead and with these people" she whispers, as she lays her head down on her knees, "I'm supposed to be alive and standing by his side against them. I would help him defeat them, then he would fall in love with me and someday I would be Mrs. Carly Atlas when we are happily married and we become the world's best dueling couple. Yusei-san would be the best man of course, and maybe Misty-san could of been the maid of honor. And then one day I would give birth to a beautiful baby boy with his daddy's good looks and my eyes that he (Jack) would always refer to as 'like the two brightest stars in the sky'. _That's_ what was supposed to happen. But instead I get thrown out of a window. I guess that's life for you."

At this, she laughs, unable to hold back her tears anymore. It sounds unnatural coming from her, it almost sounds like that awful laugh from when she dueled Divine, and the fact that she's currently sobbing doesn't make it sound any better. After a few minutes, when she sure she's under control again, she says, louder, "Yes, someday we'll have to fight each other in a battle that determines the fate of the world and one of us is going to end up dying in that battle, and it will most likely be me. Again."

The faintest of smiles appears as she continues, "You'll be sad, but you're strong and you'll realize that I would want you to move on and that I would always be with you, and you'll occasionally remember to come visit my grave every now and then to bring me flowers. Although, if you end up with another girl, I may just have to come back to life and kill you for it."

Her eyes are starting to burn again, smile disappearing. She knows, deep down, that she won't be herself when fighting him, she'll most likely be acting like that side of her that had killed Divine. That she may focus more on her slowly growing hatred (curse this mark for twisting her thoughts) rather than love. _I hate you so much, Jack Atlas, and yet I still love you..._

She turns to look out the only window in the entire base. The night sky is darker than before and there seems to be more stars than usual.

Back when she was a kid, the night sky had always seemed to fascinate her, to think that there were that many stars up there. When she was older, sometimes she would sit next to her apartment window and look up at the sky, counting each star and wondering if the city made the stars even brighter than natural. Right now though, they seem fake, like an endless galaxy of dying stars clinging to life, only delaying the inevitable.

She hasn't checked her fortune once since arriving there, but now, as she looks up at the stars, stars that supposedly spell out her destiny, she can only think that it wouldn't matter.

Her future would only say that she will (once again) soon be as dead as the stars.


End file.
